Someone or something weak is lingering in me

Its 310am and i just fought with someone most important to me right now in my life. Lets call that someone A. A just left me for good over a fight. Should i be happy or sad? I dun noe. Right now, my heart is in a confuse state. One moment im crying and another moment, im laughing. I hate this! I feel like a total idiot. My heart is always fighting with my brain and this time my brain has won. But is it a good thing? i wonder...

Im not sure what is going to happen next. There are so many doubts in my mind now. But at least i found out what A has always seen me as a person. Quite disappointing but hey, like they say, the truth is owaes ugly. A and i disagree with each other alot and we tend to quarrel over it. I just hope that A will find someone better who thinks alike and i'll wish them the best. Love A alot but the situation has worsened and i think its time to let go before it becomes worse. Actually now im in a deeper shit but i think i will pull through. Hais.

I hope A can go through this and lead a happier life without me. So hard to let go but ive no choice. Its for the best and hopefully, im right about this. Im so hungry now. I was so angry that i threw my dinner. Only had toast today. Hais. I think i'll stop here. Need time on my own. Till then, wish me luck!